Tag Archives: Life

FLAVOR! Experiencing the different flavors of life

25 Nov

On facebook there was a game that if you commented or liked someone’s post about “what you might not know about me”, they will give you a number and ask for you to write something about yourself that people might not know.

Here is what I wrote:

Here are 11 things about me, in case you didn’t know.
1. I’m a level 2 Reiki practitioner
2. Lived in the projects in Queens, NY for the first 12 years of my life
3. Love Disco
4. When I was 10 years old I send John Travolta $1.00 for his birthday LOL.
5. Was an aerobic instructor in my late teens.
6. My first car was a Suzuki jeep.
7. Did a commercial for a Puertorican magazine.
8. Lived in Minnesota for 1 year
9. Owned a small business with a friend doing personalized books for children in Los Angeles.
10. I’m into genealogy! I researched my Grandmother’s family history from France to Spain and than to Puerto Rico.
11. Love to cross stitch

I found it interesting that many were surprised that I lived in Minnesota, or that I was into Reiki or enjoyed cross stitching.   They couldn’t see me doing those things or being interested in them.

I have always love experiencing new things and I’m willing to take a chance and give it a try before I say “No thanks, this is not for me”.   I want to taste, smell (well I don’t have sense of smell, so this is a hard one :-)), and see new things.  In a way I want to experience life like a toddler does.  I think we have lost that in our society.  We look at the world with eyes of distrust, judging it’s every move, and always trying to rush through it, till one day we stop and see that life has just flown by, and all the dreams and hope that we had once when we were younger are gone.   We then say I’m to old, don’t have enough money, I might as well give up on my dreams.

I’ve had those moments, that years pass by and I say “where did time go”.  But I also have had those moments that I try to cherish every second, every moment.  Because I know that today and NOW is all we have.  Life does not guarantee me that I will be here tomorrow.   So if TODAY is all I have than what am I willing to do, to savor, to experience right now!  What is my life purpose? What can I do to contribute to the world that I live in? How will my children remember me, when I’m gone?  These are the questions that I ask of myself.

cross stitchYes! I cross stitch, I practice Reiki, I love doing mud races and getting muddy, and jumping out of airplanes.  But I also love baking cookies with my girls, and watching movies on the floor when it’s raining, and playing board games.  I love making Christmas magical for them, because I too want to believe in Santa Claus!

So, I ask you, what are you choosing to experience in your life TODAY?

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Confronting Your Fears

26 Sep

I’m turning 45 in a few weeks. As I look back on my accomplishments and my failures, I can only wish that I would be able to express myself like Sarah Kay does; she is a young spoken poet. Spoken poetry is poetry and theater all wrapped in one.

I would be able to communicate how it felt being raised in the Projects of New York City. How it felt to be scared at a young age when I had to make a last-minute decision regarding taking the elevator or the stairs depending who was in the elevator. Then taking the stairs and always listening to see if there were neighborhood gangbangers hanging out on the lower level, or if I should take the elevator on the 3rd floor.

I would explain how it felt being abused by a distant uncle and NEVER taking the title of VICTIM; I had decided as a young adult that I was not a VICTIM, not going to be LABELED, that I was not going to put MY LIFE in someone else’s hands so they could control my future.

I would be able to express the joy of getting on the airplane to leave New York City for good and never coming back. The happiness and guilt I felt as I saw my cousin crying hysterically because we were raised like sisters — and I was leaving her behind.

The feeling of not fitting in, in the beginning because even though you were considered Puertorican in New York City, you were not considered that in Puerto Rico.

The happiness I felt when my parents divorced, because I knew the fighting would stop; and the sadness of seeing the sacrifices my mother had to make to raise three daughters on her own.

In all this time I was looking for my creative voice. I was not into art, music, acting, or writing. I did try a little of everything:  guitar, dance, gymnastics, swimming, I was even an aerobics instructor. I was always willing to try new things, but nothing stuck.

I’m inspired by people who have struggled in their lives and have been able to make it through to the other side.

So if you’re wondering “have I made it to the other side?”  The answer is:  YES I have.  I made it to the other side as a young adult, once I decided that I was not going to be a VICTIM.  Believe me, it was not easy to get to that point. I was rebellious, angry and hurt.  I came to the realization that I needed to forgive, for me to be able to move on in my life in a positive way.

Sarah Kay said in her poem
And she’s gonna learn that this life
will hit you.
Hard.
In the face.
Wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach.
But getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs
how much they like the taste of air.

I love that! I had resigned myself to the fact that bad things do happen and it’s my reaction to them that dictates how much I let them affect me.  I’ve lived by the saying “I’ve been through worse; this is nothing”.

So if I could go back and change things, would I?  NO. Surprising, don’t you think? I have an amazing mother and family and — even with all the bad things — there were amazingly great things in my life. I believe that the bad or good things you go through in life shape who you become. But they do not define you.  If I had not gone through those situations, I would not be the person I am today. I love the person I’ve become.  I’m daring, overprotective about my kids, I love to laugh, I love life, and most of all I’ve found my creative voice. At the same time I’m also emotional, my worst critic, and shy.

But I don’t give up! As I get kicked in the stomach, I still get up and keep pushing forward.

As I write this, I’m scared to death to post it.  But here is one more wall I’m tearing down.

So, follow what you love and don’t ever let life’s circumstances or FEAR stop you from doing what you always wanted to do.

And above all, DON’T EVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE A VICTIM. You are a SURVIVOR :-).

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