Secret Dreams – Task Chapter 2

4 May

When we are changing sizes and shapes as an artist, we often are afraid of looking foolish.  We want to be “finished.” We want to be “good at it.”  We want to read the review that explains, “Well worth the creative risk!” Unfortunately, change and the risks that go with it invite feelings of vulnerability.  Sometimes, simply blurting out our secret dream is a tremendous relief, so that’s what we will try to do here on paper.  Finish the following phrases as fast as you can:  

– Julia Cameron

1. If it weren’t so foolish, I’d love to try: I’ve mentioned this before, I would love to go skydiving!

2. If it weren’t so expensive, I’d love to own a:  House Boat

3. If I were twenty-one again, I would let myself study: Looking back now I would have gone to film school.  But at that time I had not discovered my love for capturing wonderful moments on video.  I wanted to study dramatic arts but felt insecure regarding pursuing something that I would not be able to find work.

4. If I could take the next five years off, all expense paid I’d study: Oh my God the things I would do.

  1. Would love to take a workshop with National Geographic expedition in some exotic location and learn to take amazing pictures.
  2. Learn to be a Yoga Instructor
  3. Sign up for courses at the New York Film Academy
  4. Expand on my nutrition classes by taking sports nutrition
  5. Work and finish my documentary

I think that is pretty much everything that I could accomplish in 5 years.

5. If it weren’t so nuts, I’d love to try: I would love to train for Kona Ironman.  But really train to compete.

6. If I gave in to my secret dreams, I would let myself: Enjoy it and not feel guilty.  These are dreams that would take me away from my family.  I have children to think of.  These are dreams should have been done when I was young and single.  This does not mean that I can’t pursue these but it does make it more difficult.

7. If I’d had ideal parents and a perfect childhood, I’d be a: This is a hard question to answer.  I had the ideal mother, she never stopped me from pursuing what I wanted to do.  She really tried to please me as much as she could financially on whatever I wanted to accomplish at that time.

8. The dream I have never told anyone is:  Well it seems I already told you my dreams.

9. The artist I admire and think I am a lot like is: There are so many artist that I admire but I don’t feel I’m a lot like them.  So I can’t really answer this question.

10: The artist I secretly look down on because I have more talent is:  This is an interesting question, I really don’t have any artist that I look down on because I feel I have more talent than them.  What I sometimes feel is that I look at some artist that have had the same challenges and lifestyle as me and they were able to accomplish their dreams when I didn’t.  But I realize the difference between them and me is a sense of confidence, a feeling of not worrying about what others think of me and just taking the leap.

So, what has this task helped me realize?   It’s that my dreams are not so out there that I can’t ever accomplish them; I just need to choose to do things a little differently.  Example:

1. Skydiving – Only need to find a good company, pay and jump!

2. National Geographic – I really can’t spend that kind of money and leave my family for 10 days but I could take a photography class locally for a few weeks.

3. Yoga Instructor – My gym teacher gives Yoga class.  I only would need to sign up for one.

4. Film School – This one is a little harder to accomplish.  But I’m hoping that vlogging will help me become a better videographer.

5. Documentary – I do go to Puerto Rico for one whole month.  I can take that time and work on my documentary there.  This will give me time to clear my mind and really work on where I want the documentary to go.  Why haven’t I started you may ask?  It’s because I can take it in so many different directions that I don’t even know where to start and get frustrated and turn out doing nothing.

5. Sports Nutrition –  I’m already going to school for nutrition.  I just need to expand on it.

6. Kona Ironman – This one is a little harder since it does take so much time to train.  When you work full-time, have kids and are trying to go to school, you can’t help but wonder “when would I find the time?”

7. House Boat –  Need to start buying Florida Lottery tickets LOL!

So, what are your secret dreams?

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4 Responses to “Secret Dreams – Task Chapter 2”

  1. pursuingthemuse May 5, 2011 at 10:43 pm #

    These tasks in this chapter are particularly hard for me. Kudos to you on doing the whole list and writing so openly about the experience.

  2. ticklingthemuse May 6, 2011 at 9:20 am #

    I’m really impressed that you were able to get this done as well! I was thinking that Peggy would want to go with you on the National Geographic tour =)
    I look forward to visiting you on your house boat one day!!

  3. pursuingthemuse May 11, 2011 at 7:24 pm #

    I would definitely go on the National Geographic trip with you (as long as it didn’t involve skydiving or triathalons)! As an alternative, let’s check out that photography class I mentioned. I’ll send you the link.

  4. charmingthemuse May 30, 2011 at 12:32 am #

    I read this as a draft before and didn’t see the picture. That’s quite a photograph there. Is your creative videographer’s eye expanding to stills? Oh, and I’m still not jumping with you!

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